“Auto, Body, Work�

The following is an expanded version of Item 4 on my “Top 10 Unique Things I’ve Done� list:

After one of the heavier rainstorms in recent history, a hunter found a body in a field in a remote part of the county. The body fit the description of an area man whose car was found stuck in the mud less than a mile away from where the body was found. Most of the roads in the area had dirt as a key ingredient which had been turned into mud over the course of the preceding week. A deputy had noticed the car the day before, but assumed that the driver had simply gotten out and went for help.

The lead investigator who reported the discovery informed me that they weren’t exactly sure what they had on their hands. A search of the car earlier in the day produced some drug paraphernalia and a small amount of white crystalline substance. There were no marks indicating that the body had been dragged into the field. Neither the area around the car nor the area around the body showed any signs of a struggle.

Even though the rain had finally moved out of the area, the roads were still in pretty bad shape. Fortunately, they had recovered just enough that I was able to slide my way from the main roads to where the patrol cars were located without too much difficulty. A deputy approached as I got out of my car, wrote my name on his scene log, and pointed me in the direction of a brand new Ford Explorer.

The driver introduced himself as the person I had spoken to on the phone. He then informed me that the body was located a few hundred yards into the field. There was a dirt trail leading in, but it was in worse shape than the roads were, so we’d have to walk the rest of the way. He had no new information to pass on about how the man ended up in the field, but the predominant theory was that he was attempting a shortcut across the field. As long as I would be able to rule out any trauma, the theory would hold for the time being.

Fortunately for everyone involved, I wasn’t able to find any signs of trauma to the body. It was dark and growing colder, and I got the impression that everyone was ready to go home long before I arrived. We bagged the body and dragged it back out along the muddy trail which seemed ten times longer than it had going in. When we finally reached where the vehicles were parked, we learned that the ambulance service that volunteered to transport the body was stuck in the mud just off of the main road. Rather than wait for the ambulance to be rescued, I proposed putting the body on the hood of my car and driving it to where the ambulance was located.

At first, the lead investigator seemed reluctant to go along with my suggestion. I did what I could to ease his mind by pointing out that it was dark and there were no civilians or camera crews around. I finished by politely suggesting the only other option was to put the mud covered body bag into the back of his new Explorer. Within seconds, I had a body on the hood of my car.

3 Responses to “”

  1. May 25, 2005 at 11:05 am

    Oh man….go figure of COURSE he’d rather have it on the hood of your car rather then in his brand new car! Ugh…some people. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do…including doing things in strange ways!

  2. May 29, 2005 at 12:27 pm

    Funny, I’ve stolen bodies out of cemetaries before and put them on the hood of my car. Fun times…

    Ask Morris

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